i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So squirting runs in the family.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
