i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
