we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
