just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
