I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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