I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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