You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
