Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
