Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
