Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
