hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
