i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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