called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
