i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize