Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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