What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
