Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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