im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
