So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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