I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
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He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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