I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
