have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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