He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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