i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
