Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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