So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
