oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize