my mouth tastes like poor choices
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
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so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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