Don't you send me to vm
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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