closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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