Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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