i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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