i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
