the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
