I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Found your dick twin last night
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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