every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
