Sponge bath it is.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
