My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
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I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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