he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize