For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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