Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
