Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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