those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
