Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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