I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize