I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize