What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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