I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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