my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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