Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Come see our sink grown plant.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
