I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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