she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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