we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm at about main and main street
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
