Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
