Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize