i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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