you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
