Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
