you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
